Three years later...

Today my family and I celebrate my dad's 3rd stent-a-versary. It was technically August 14th but its never too late to celebrate! I feel the need to share, partly to reflect on that day but also in hopes to promote awareness and share God's power.
 
August 14, 2011:

I was awoken by news that my dad was at the emergency room and was fighting for his life while waiting to be airlifted to Lubbock.  I remember thinking it was dream, because my dad and I had stayed up till almost 1am the night before talking, watching TV and joking.  I remember thinking :"What could possibly have happened between then and now?" Then I was informed he had suffered several severe heart attacks.  Again, I questioned if this was real...he seemed to be fine other than a sore shoulder muscle from work.  Unfortunately, it was reality.  I got Zach up and we were waiting for mom to pull up to the house so we could all ride to Lubbock together.  As I was getting in the car AeroCare flew above our house.  My heart sank, my dad was on board.  Zach tapped me on the shoulder and whispered "Dad will be okay he is flying up by God".  My brother is pretty awesome, in stressful times he always manages to see good in the situation and comfort others.  I nodded and then we began our journey to Lubbock.

As we pulled up to the hospital I realized I was afraid to ask what room my dad was in.  I was afraid the answer may be "he never made it" or "we have no patient by that name", but I found the courage that only God can give and asked.  "Room 855" the sweet lady responded.  As I made my way to his room I mentally prepared myself to see a man covered in wires and machines that was unresponsive.  I was surprised to find my dad sitting up in bed, watching TV with a few wires and machines attached.  I was much more surprised to see him laughing and joking. 

The doctor came in and examined him and informed us the tests had indicated he was doing good and that they would check for further or partial blockages the next day.  He explained that the amount of blood thinners he had taken would almost certainly cause him to bleed out if he were to preform surgery now.  We all agreed that waiting as long a possible was the best option, and the doctor left.  The nurse came in to check in and get vitals.  My dad got really quiet and as she was finishing up he sat straight up holding his shoulder.  It was evident something was not right.  Then the machines began beeping simultaneously and before I knew it I was pushed into the hall and 10-12 nurses were in his room accompanied by the doctor.  The vision I had earlier of the numerous wires and barely responsive dad was unfolding before my eyes.  I heard so many codes and numbers shouted followed by "CALL OR NOW TELL THEM WE ARE COMING IN NOW" and with that the nurses sprinted to the OR.  I caught up with my dad right before the OR doors shut.  I found courage again, and said "I need you! Your grandson needs you! He nodded and semi did a thumbs up.  I shouted " I LOVE YOU" and he still nodded The doors slammed shut behind them.

Then came the wait.  It was the longest time of my life.  Minutes seemed to creep by. I kept thinking about the doctor saying he would almost certainly bleed out. The doctor came out and said "Mccartie Family" my heart sank again.  The doctor informed us my dad was doing ok and that he had a 100 percent blockage that they resolved by inserting a stent. He looked down at the floor for a minute.  What he said next still sends chills down my spine.  He looked back up and said "I don't know if you all believe in God, but there is absolutely no medical reason why Mr. McCartie is still alive.  He should have bled out with the high doses of thinners, but he didn't even need a blood transfusion.  In the medical practice we call the type of heart attack Mr. McCartie had a "widow maker".  Mr. McCartie should have died hours ago, he should have dropped dead according to the severity and blockage.  Mr. McCarties test results should indicate that he has severe heart damage with less than 15 percent of his heart working (insert long pause) but Mr. McCartie has ZERO heart damage." We informed the doctor that we did indeed believe in God and that we had no doubt we had witnessed his power that day.  He agreed and said he would see us later in the evening. 

As we sat in the hospital we had nothing do but reflect and praise God. So we did.  Slowly the pieces began to fit together.  While dad thought he had pulled a muscle in his shoulder, it was actually a warning side that his heart was in trouble.  We all knew shoulder pain was a sign, but somehow still wrote it off as something small.  It is crucial that everyone become familiar with the warning signs so that you can get the proper care immediately.  Dad has experienced the shoulder pain for almost three days! For almost three days his body was trying to say HELP!  To learn the warning signs of heart attacks consult with your doctor and/or go to http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-attack/in-depth/heart-attack-symptoms/art-20047744 

5 things I didn't expect in Law School

I'm only a week in, I know, but there are several things I truly didn't expect. I thought I would list them out so one day when I'm a lawyer, I can look back and reflect. But also to share for the sake of sharing and for those who are plan to one day go to law school. 

So without further adieu...

1. I DID NOT EXPECT TO have two of my four professors spend the majority of the first class having us introduce ourselves to the class.  However, it was great because we obviously got to learn about our peers, realize how

diverse we are, but appreciate that we all have a common goal.  Each professor also told us about him or her and that was helpful too!

2. I DID NOT EXPECT for the 2Ls and 3Ls to be so helpful and encouraging.  To be honest I went in with the assumption that the 2Ls and 3Ls would be busy with their courses, not pay attention to us, much less make us feel welcome.  However, EVERYONE is super helpful and EVERYONE wants us to succeed! I am sure this phenomena doesn't happen at every school though. I am sure some 2Ls and 3Ls have the "eww 1Ls" or "I'm better than you" attitude.  Luckily, at Tech Law that is not the case! Everyone from the professors, deans, faculty, staff (basically anyone that is in the building) wants us to succeed and is willing to help  us! 

3.  I DID NOT EXPECT fellow section mates to be so nice. I assumed that since we are competing for a grade on a curve, that the students would be judgmental and self focused, however I have an awesome section. It seems that we operate under this ... Cue the music... 

"We're all in this together" idea which is great. Obviously as time continues we will still be striving for the best grades but I think the friendliness and respect will continue! 

4. I DID NOT EXPECT references to  Mikey Mouse and Donald Duck to be contained in any of my law books. 

5. I DID NOT EXPECT to get sick during my first week. Note to self : stressful times = weakend immune system...take care of yourself by eating right, exersizing, etc! 

Thanks again to everyone who has wished me well and prayed with me! I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people like you all. 

My Prayer For Law School

Tuesday I embark on a new journey. A chaotic, stressful, challenging one. I become a law student. I would be lying if I said I was not worried, nervous, and fearful. During times like this where anxiety sets in my instincts lead me to talk to God, to pray, to cast my worries on him. And I have been in prayer for a while, and I have decided to pray the prayer below starting on Tuesday until law school is over.  Also, many of you have asked what you can pray for specifically or what you can do to help. The answer is pray for me :)  Below you who have asked what specifically to pray for will see I am asking for courage and peace. I'll keep y'all updated throughout my journey. Thank you all for praying with me and for me. May God bless you all. 

FATHER, 

I come before you knowing full and well that I am in the middle of your plan for my life. Yet my nerves are running rampant, fear of failure is present, and worries flood my mind.  Yet through all of these emotions I am choosing to hold on to your promises. Trusting that you will provide for me, that you will strengthen me, give me boldness, and pick me up when I fall. As I enter into this new journey, I ask that you enable me to touch others, be a light into my peers and proffesors, always reflecting your love, grace and mercies. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful support system, for placing positive people in my life, and for placing who believe in me, even when statistics say I, a young mother shouldn't be in law school, much less graduated with a bachelors. Thank you for guiding me through to this point, for turning my TEST into a TESTimony , and thanks in advance for helping and guiding me through this new endeavor; law school. For all things are possible through you and all things work together for those who love you. 

Amen

Life is funny

Random thoughts: 

So tonight I began reading a new book. Law school is rapidly approaching and I decided I needed some insight and so I picked up this book and several others. So far, it's really great. While book shopping the other day Braylon also found some new books. But tonight he refused to read his new book which surprised me. Braylon loves to read. So I began reading and looked up and notice that he was reading one of my books. I asked him why he was reading my book and he said "I need to read big books...no pictures...I'm gunna be like you mama". This brought my heart so much joy, I am sure every parents wants to know that their child looks up to them, aspires to be like them, respects them, etc. And it was a beautiful moment, those words that came out of my 2.5 year olds mouth were heartwarming. 

I told Braylon that I appreciated that but I also want him to be little. He looked at me with confusion. I tried to explain that he needed to be the best little person that he could be, and when he is a kid, the best kid he can be, and then teenager, adult etc. And he smiled and said "so I read picture book?" I nodded and watched him run and get his little truck book, which we then read 5 times in a row. 

As children we desire to be big, we want to be adults, we want responsibilities, etc. For me personally I remember hating naps in kindergarten, and now I wish that the professors in college would have made us lay down and nap for an hour. (It would be amazing for my professors at law school to make us nap, just saying.) I remember being little and pretending to play school, pretending to write essays, pretending to play house, pay bills, run an office, etc. And now those things are reality and sometimes it would be nice to be a kid again, to not worry about the price of things, pay bills, clean, and so forth. Life is funny like that. 

Even today I told my mom "I can't wait to get out of lawschool and begin practicing" ..... Sounds like I may need to use my own advice and worry about being the best law student, wife, Christian, and mommy I can be, when the time comes I will worry about being the best lawyer I can be. Life goes by entirely too fast to be wishing for the future to get here sooner.

-Brenda

Potty Training

Starting Sunday we really buckled down on potty training and I am proud to report Braylon had just one accident today! And he already is asking and telling me when he needs to go! I am a proud mommy. The whole "consistency is key" motto is absolutely true! Braylon was probably ready around January and was literally fascinated with the whole concept but got the stomach bug and I'm sure thought "if this is what potty training is about forget it!" 

Then we tried again when his interest sparked again, but he was going to two daycare programs while I was finishing up school. The daycare programs were great, they worked with him well but it wasn't consistent it was different bathrooms, toilets, etc. So I kinda let it go and decided that was one of my missions this summer. And so Sunday came and it literally just felt like it was the day  to conquer potty training. 

As a mom, potty training is somewhat overwhelming. There are numerous methods and tips and tricks. Just like every other decision you have to make being a mother there are people who will judge you based on how you go about potty training. So, please know right now before you read further this is simply the way that worked for my child. By no means am I knocking other methods or saying my way is the correct way. I'm just sharing my experience. I made a promise that I will not judge other moms parenting styles/decisions because we moms need to support each other, we all are on the same basic mission: to be the best moms we can be and raise our kids to be successful members of society.  

So like I said we had half heartedly attempted potty training before.  I tried a sticker method originally.  Braylon was "rewarded" for properly using the bathroom in the toilet by a sticker chart method.  He was obsessed with Elmo so it was a Elmo sticker chart complete with Elmo stickers. Interestingly enough I was taking a motivation and emotion class to finish the psychology portion of my degree.  And so I literally learned why that failed.  Humans have both intrinsic (internal) and extrinsic (external) motivation.  We are more likely to do things alone and repeat behavior if we have the intrinsic motivation. We humans like to feel in control of our selves, we like autonomy.  External motivation makes us feel like we have no choice.  I learned that most reward methods use external motivation, thus make us feel less autonomous. My sticker chart method was utilizing external motivation. The other big problem with external motivation is that eventually you have to increase the reward to get a desired behavior.   Here's and example: Eventually one sticker was not enough for Braylon he wanted more, he was not pottying for the sake of pottying, he was doing it to get a sticker. And then one sticker wasn't fulfilling enough.  

So, I scratched that method and decided to wait for summer. Braylon was again interested, which is important because it shows he is intrinsically motivated, he wants to potty because he enjoys pottying and feels empowered, independent, and perhaps most importantly, autonomous!   So I took him to walmart and we looked at "big boy" underwear. He quickly found ones that had construction equipment that his "da-da" and "po-po" use and wanted those.... And the ones with Thomas the train.... And the ones with trucks like "PoPo". As you can tell he adores his Da-da and PoPo. So we got them and talked about how you have to keep the truck/train/equipment dry etc. He went to bed that night excited to wear his "po-po truck undies" the next day.  

So, the next day came and when he woke up I took him out of his pull up and into big boy undies he went.  I set an alarm on my phone to go off every 30 minutes and even let him CHOOSE the "potty sound" for the same reason I let him CHOOSE his undies...because  I knew he was seeking to be autonomous, to have a say, to feel in control. So every 30 minutes he sat on the toilet and he went almost every time. He had two accidents that first day and was upset about it. He is so sweet, he apologized to "PoPos truck" and his "big train" for not keeping them dry. 

Today (Monday) was a great day too. He had one accident. I was nervous because he was going to VBS for the first time, but I knew constincey was key.  His teacher said his accident was because she forgot to take him, no big deal. Accidents happen. And then the rest of the day he was fine, even though he used a different potty, he didn't throw a fit ever. He just did it. And then after VBS every 30 minutes we went to "try" and he told me about 3:00 "momma I tell you when I go, my not need to now" and be did and has since! I still ask but he has it all figured out! I am such a proud mom. 

Here's some common questions I have been asked about potty training as well as my answers. Again, I am simply sharing these to show what worked for me and my son. If you don't view the matter the same way, it's fine, I respect your views and decisions because we are on the same mission: to raise our children to be the best they can be, etc. 

1. Has he asked what his private is? Yes, he went through the obsession stage. I was surprised and not ready for the question, but I told him what it is anatomically called, a penis.  I had several reasons for choosing to call it that, one if he ever had a yeast infection, or problem, I want him to adequately communicate what area he is talking about. Another reason is my psychology background. I read numerous articles and publications and they seemed to agree that sexual predators or abusers have "nicknames" for privates parts.  It makes since, they don't want the kid to tell so they call the penis "Johnny" or whatever else you can think of. Thus the kid will tell another adult or parent "me and (whoever the offender is) played with Johnny" it sounds like maybe they played with a kid named Johnny.  So basically, I want Braylon to be comfortable with the fact that he is a boy and he has a penis and able to communicate properly about it. 

2. Is it hard potty training a boy?

Well, I don't know what it is like to potty train a girl but I would not say it's hard to do, it's time consuming and takes patience.   It has difficulties, for the obvious difference that as his mom, we don't have the same anatomy and I'm teaching him to use a part that I don't have.  I was mainly worried about the aiming issues, but he has never had an issue.

I started him facing the toilet (backwards from the normal way) that way he had more room to go, and it was easier to flush.  (Good tip from my soon to be mother in law)  and he got to the point where he wanted to sit the right way. 

3. Any advice? 

Consistency is key. But other than that no, I believe each child is unique and even if I had another child this method may not work. Don't get frustrated, all kids that are capable of potty training will do it, maybe not as soon as you would like but they will. Look around, humans have a internal motivation to potty train! 

Adopted

 

 As many of you may know, I am adopted. For many people adoption is intriguing and when they find out I am adopted they have many questions. Throughout this post I will address each of the frequently asked questions as well as tell my story. I think that you will find my story has been blessed by the hand of God, that there is no mistaking God had a big plan for my life before I was even born, and that I am actively seeking to be in the center of HIS plan. I feel that I have been called to tell my story, I also feel that someone reading this will get confirmation that they should adopt, or even that adoption might be a good option for them to choose for their unborn child.  Adoption is a beautiful thing, and I hope my story exhibits that. 

So here goes: 

My parents (Tom and Becky) knew that they wanted children but due to complications and medical reasons they decided that having a child the "normal" way wouldn't be the route they would take.  They decided adoption was the route they would take. (And I am oh so thankful they did) They began praying for me and for God's will to be done. Their Pastor at the time was praying as well and was well informed of their situation and desires. Meanwhile, God was watching his plan unfold and pouring out blessings. 

Their pastor moved to lead a church in Missouri and one day was contacted by a local lawyers secretary who was a member of the congregation.  The secretary asked the pastor if he knew of anyone wanting to adopt because a lady, my biological mother, had contacted her office seeking help in giving her baby, me, 

better opportunities, a loving home, a Christian environment, support, and the nurturing that a child needs to thrive.   My mom knew she was not able to give me all of those things at the time in her life, she already had one young child, my sister, was not married and in 1992 that was not accepted, nor as common as today.  My parents pastor immediately thought of my parents and just like that the process began.

My parents of course wanted to make sure my mother was certain of her decision and she told them she was. Soon after they drove to Missouri and met my mother who was delighted to meet them. Both my parents and her felt a connection and felt good about the adoption plan. Meanwhile her lawyer, my lawyer, and my parents lawyer were all making arrangements for my adoption. 

Soon after, the day came when I made my entrance into the world. I believe there were complications, I believe she had heart issues during delivery and possibly even a heart attack. But I was fine, I was a little red headed girl who weighed 4 pounds 12 oz.  My parents got a surprising phone call that day. My biological mother's lawyer ycalled to inform them that I had been born and that the adoption was off. As one can imagine my parents were devastated. Their dreams were crushed. But as one can also imagine my mom was going through an extremely difficult time. 

I don't think I truly ever understood just how hard that decision was to make until my eyes met my son's. My situation was nothing like my mothers situation, it was 2011. Young mothers were common, unplanned pregnancies were common, and unmarried couples having babies were common. Braylon's dad (my longtime boyfriend at the time and now my soon to be husband) was present and ready to be a dad. We had our families, which made an amazing support system. She, already had one kid, was unmarried, wasn't going to have much help, my "dad" had actually offered to pay for an abortion (which she said no to). So the situations were totally different. Despite the differences, I remember that while I was in the recovery room and holding my son, it hit me. My mom held me, looked at me, kissed me, examined my features, loved me... Just like I loved my son. But she went in to the hospital knowing I wouldn't go home with her. I cuddled Braylon in that recovery room and realized that adoption is one of the most selfless decisions a mother can make. And then I somewhat understood why she made that phone call to my parents. I could never imagine and still can't comprehend the strength it would take to let go of a child. The thought of missing your child's first steps, words, giggle, bath, sentence, days of school, graduations, proms, etc. is hard to swallow. I understood my mother' s struggle in the recovery room that day. 

However, a few days later my parents got another phone call where they were informed the adoption was back on. They immediately  packed up the car and headed to Missouri. Of course they were on an emotional rollercoaster, devastated because the adoption was cut off at the last minute, fearful that it may still fall through at the last minute, anxious to meet me, excited to hear the adoption was currently back in the works... Etc. By this time we were released and back at my biological mothers home.   She invited my parents over to meet me and to discuss plans, and my future. So, they embraced me with welcoming arms, they talked, my mother was reassured. The plan was set in place. I would stay one last night with my mother and we would meet at the lawyers office the next morning, and I would go with my parents.   

That night I'm sure no one got sleep. 

The next morning my parents arrived at the office eager to take me home. The scheduled time for my arrival came and went. Another hour crept by. When all of a sudden a phone rang. My biological mother was on the other end saying she had gone to get my pictures taken and she was on her way.  

Then there we all were sitting in the lawyers office. Papers were signed, goodbyes were said and I left with my parents. (I must say I am crying as I type now). I may not know much about my biological mother but I can say she was a strong woman. As I type, I put my self in her shoes and my heart aches for her. The thought of getting out of your car with a baby and then getting in your car alone is hard to swallow, maybe that's why I have a knot in my throat now.   I don't know much about my mother but I will say, I love her.   She did the most selfless thing for me so that I could have opportunities, so that I could thrive, so that I could dream big and conquer those dreams. My mom hurt so that I would not have to.  My mom dealt with heartache so I wouldn't have to. I'm forever thankful.   

Later that year, the papers were finalized in Texas and I was finally adopted. 

(This is a picture of me and my RaRa/adoption lawyer prior to the final hearing)

Adoption is usually a complex process, but when you do an adoption across state lines, it gets more complex. I was not able to go leave Missouri until the court gave my parents permission. Two weeks after I left the office with my parents I was able to go to Texas. And took my first airplane ride. My dad had already had to go back a week earlier to work. So mom and I flew home to meet him and all my family and friends. Again, I was welcomed with open arms. And I'm sure God was thrilled to watch his plan continue to unfold.  

I grew up just as my mother hoped I would. I was loved, nurtured, raised in a Christian home, and given so many opportunities. Now flash forward to the day I was told I was adopted.   What a day that was. It was a Sunday afternoon, we had ate lunch and went home just like any other Sunday. I was young, can't remember the exact age but probably 6-8 years old. Anyways, my parents said we needed to talk. I remember reading a book that was about adoption, and it said "are you adopted" on one of the first pages. 

 I remember saying "nope" and going on to the next page. My  Parents just looked at each other as I said "nope". It never really dawned on me that I looked different.  They had dark hair and I had fire red hair, but never thought of it until then. I finished reading the book and it was pretty obvious to me that I was adopted. Why else would they have me read a book about adoption? So then they explained to me that my mother loved me very very very very much and wanted me to have a better life than she could provide. And I nodded, I am sure I asked a few questions but not many at first. As I got older my wheels began turning and that's when I began asking more questions. Meanwhile, I used the "I am adopted" line every school year when you introduce yourself to your classmates and have to tell them something interesting about yourself.  I also used the " I am adopted" line to try to get out of certain assignments... That wasn't very successful.  As we started learning about genetics in school we had to trace our family history back for assignments.  We were suppose to learn if our families had a history of medical issues, if a certain color of eyes and hair ran in the family, etc.  So, me being a manipulative little kid always started out with " Mrs. ______ I think that assignment is reallly neat but unfortunately I can't complete it since I am adopted because I don't know and information about my family."  It was a true statement, I didn't know much because I never really asked, in my eyes my mom and dad/Tom and Becky are my parents so I didn't care to know.  However, despite my tries the teachers either have me an alternative assignment or told me to use my adopted family info. 

I remember in Jr. high and high school that's when my interest began to peak, and my parents were always willing to be open and talk about it.  I believe I was 16-18 when I asked if I could have my mothers name, and if there were any pictures/ medical history available. We say down and looked over the documents together. My mom was gorgeous. I saw a family picture of her parent, her pregnant with me, my sister, and her brother.  That was pretty awesome. I grew up most of my life as an only child so the thought of me having a sibling was pretty cool. I googled my mothers name, not to find her or talk to her but to see if any new updated information was out on the web.  There was, but not the kind I was imagining. I thought maybe I would find updated pictures, newspaper articles saying that she had won an award, maybe even got married. So when it pulled up an obituary, I was in absolute shock. She was in her twenties when she had me, so I wasn't expecting her to be dead.  And then there was another shock. The obituary that it pulled up wasn't even my mothers.... Her name was in my sister (half-sisters) obituary. It said (sister name) is preceded in death by her mother (mothers name) of (city, state) ...Wow. My mother and sister were dead. My sister was 5 years older than me.  So she was in her early 20s when she died. Talk about shocking. Not to mention the day she died I remember very well because it's my twins cousins birthday and I always call to tell them happy birthday. At that moment I realized something beautiful. Yes, I said I realized something BEAUTIFUL after just finding out my biological sister and mother died. You read it right. I realized, God being the awesome God that he is took me out of that situation 16-18 years earlier and placed me in Texas with my family to spare me from heartache, devastation, and pain. He placed me in a home where I experienced an amazing childhood, nurture, infinite love, etc! How awesome. I mean really think about it, soak it in people ... I serve an awesome God. To say the least this gave new meaning and understanding to Jeremiah 29:11. 

Okay now you are probably wondering why I haven't mentioned my dad yet. Honestly, I remember being told when I was informed I was adopted that my mom was single mother, and my dad never really came to my mind. Obviously as I got older it did, and when I was mature enough to be told I found out he didn't really claim me, and his solution to this situation was abortion. As a matter if fact he was willing to pay for it. Was I angry inside? Yes at first, it's kinda hard not to be when you find out someone's solution was killing you. That means I wouldn't be here, so yeah it's kinda hard to swallow. It made me appreciate my mom even more, abortion would have saved her the stress of carrying another child when she was not married, it would have been an easy way out... But she protected me, she chose life. And obviously I am glad she did. 

So, I am sure you noticed I said I WAS angry with my dad.  I am not anymore, I have been able to find a peace that can only come from God, and I truly can say that I am not angry, nor do I hate him.  I found that peace through praying for him and my biological family.  Ya see, when that obituary popped up, I noticed I also had a brother.... A younger brother. And I thought "I guess I wasn't good enough to keep she kept the other two but not me". However I quickly reasoned that she must have been in a better place at that point or maybe the adoption was such a hard thing the first time she just couldn't do it again. And I prayed and I prayed and I prayed for understanding, for peace. And that is what I got. God revealed the big picture, my purpose in life. It was an awesome revelation. God literally took me out of a harmful situation and placed me in a perfect environment to fulfill his plan, which was was to make a difference in people's life using my testimony. I thought it was awesome, but little did I know that was just a peice of the plan. 

My senior year of highshool was filled answering the same question over and over. The question,  "After graduation what will you do" seemed to be asked a lot, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do. But, I was so nervous and anxious because I wasn't really sure if my plan was the same as God's plan. And that's scary. Ever since I was a little girl (even before I knew I was adopted) I always wanted to be a lawyer for several reasons...

1. I am pretty good at arguing (my parents will tell you that as soon as I could talk I began persuading and arguing haha)

2. I like to help people. As you can imagine if you need a lawyer your in a stressful situation usually, and I want to provide hope and help to those people.

3. I joke that I encountered lawyers very young in life and they impacted me. But really, the lawyers who worked on my case truly impacted me and I keep in contact with them to this day. (Well, not my moms lawyer but that's for obvious reasons). But back to the lawyers who impacted me, there names are Lanny Voss and Robert Hoffman. Lanny is not just my lawyer, he is an encourager, mentor, and one of my biggest supporters. Robert, also known as "Ra-Ra"  was not only was a lawyer on my case but happens to be my uncle. So these men are pretty special to me. I hope to one day have clients think of me as I do them. 

Notice, none of the reasons were about money... I didn't know lawyers got paid well when I was young, I didn't even really have the concept of money yet, so I never consider that a reason, it's a bonus. I want to help people weather I take the case pro bono or am getting paid big bucks. I believe that all individuals deserve to be treated equally, whether the can pay, or can't. In my eyes money should not be a factor in if someone can pursue legal action. 

Anyways, I had had this desire for a long time, and the fact that I was uncertain if my plan was gods plan was downright scary.  But, then God revealed more of his plan. I was ckeaning my room when my books tumbled off the shelf. I picked up my Bible first. It had fell and opened to a page in Proverbs, I began reading. This is what I read... 

As I read, chills rippled down my spine, and tears rolled down my eyes. This was it, I had prayed and prayed and got understanding and confirmation. Being a lawyer was in Gods plan for me. Not only did he answer but he provided me more insight than I asked. I prayed more to make sure I understood right (and found that I did) but God has a plan for me to do pro bono work, and to help people in need.  

So then I had an answer to everyone's question... I would get my undergrad degree and head to law school. It sounded easy but the road was difficult. 

I went to WTAMU for one semester before realizing that wasn't the place for me and that WBU was. Never in a million years did I think I would be at WBU... It was in my hometown and I wanted to get away. So I tried to do it my way, it didn't work of course and I'm sure God chuckled. So I came back and attended WBU. I was not thrilled about it the first day but grew to love it, and was surprised. Not only was I surprised that I liked the school I never even had considered, but I was surprised to learn that same semester that I was pregnant! The Monday after Easter in 2011 my doctor confirmed via blood test that me and my highschool sweetheart/longtime boyfriend/ now soon to be husband, were going to be welcoming a child in December. 

So I ended my first semester at WBU in May was not showing really, took a June class it still wasn't noticeable, told everyone pretty close after meeting the 12 week milestone and then went back to school in august sporting a baby bump that grew and grew over summer. So of course I was nervous, it was a baptist university. But luckily I was welcomed back with open arms. And that was the first I took a JUAD (justice administration) class. I didn't talk much, I was sitting at the back closest to the door in case my water broke suddenly haha. And it was hard to keep quiet, because I knew most of the answers, but I still hadn't got in my comfort zone. Until one day the instructor (who happens to be a mentor of mine and the best JUAD teacher of all time) told us we were doing a mock trial.  I was excited and immediately raised my hand to be the prosecutor. He assigned us co-counsel and set the trial date.  Trial date came and only one of my co-counsel showed up...and he was not prepared. Me, I had my questions typed out, tons of paperwork and research that I did, and a color coded highlighting system started. The defense had all members ready and one piece of notebook paper with some chicken scratch handwriting. So I gave my opening statement, and began my direct examination. I was elated, never once did they object, they also had no cross examination questions prepared. I closed my case and then they opened and started direct examination. And something overtook me, all of these objections came flying out of my mouth, these arguments that were backed up with research were given and the judge/teacher along with everyone else looked at me like this... 

And then before I knew it the trial was done. And we got back our grades on a scale and the comment section read "keep up the good work. I see a natural talent in you" I must add it was everyone's first mock trial and now at WBU the completions are fierce. But anyway, that encouragement was the best thing. And then before I knew it December rolled around and I managed to get through finals. My last final was on the 14 and I went in on the 18th to be induced.  On the 20th DJ and I welcomed our son Braylon into the world. Which brings me to this....

Have you ever noticed Gods timing is perfect? Looking back I see that. Yes, I was unmarried and had a child but God gave me a healthy baby, and one in December, meaning I could go back to school in January and conquer those plans he had.   So I did, and my schedule worked out perfect. I was still able to take my classes (17 hours) and spend time with my new baby. The scheduling of my classes never became an issue and I was able to maintain a high GPA balance mommy duties and work. So all was great thanks to the man up stairs. But yes, there were times it was hard. Times I got no sleep, times I help my son in one arm and typed my papers with another. I quickly found that the whole "where there is a will there is a way" statement is 100 percent correct. I was also supported by so many and encouraged by so many. I  can tell you this, I couldn't have done it as easily without the help of my support system. 

Then came spring break of my JR year. I got engaged to my longtime boyfriend, first boyfriend, highschool sweetheart, bestfriend, and Braylon's amazing Da-da. 

Again, God was pouring out blessings and busy watching his plan unfold. (I'll save the details for a later blog) 

So as I got further into my degree I found you also have to take the LSAT to get into law school, and that large numbers of people apply but only some are chosen. So I took a prep course, and prayed and studied and prayed and studied .... Did I mention I prayed and studied? There I met a woman who inspired me, she was the teacher but also a lawyer, and she was everything I hope to be someday. Kind, helpful, always went the extra mile, funny, and she was so smart. Anyways, so the day came to take the test and there I was praying until the last possible second. I was a nervous wreck. But God provided me the endurance and knowledge to conquer the test. I got a new understanding to the old phrase "if God puts you to it, he will bring you through it".  Anyway so that was a mini celebration because I still hoping that TTU Law would accept me, but I doubted myself. I like to always prepare myself for the worst case scenario.... Which adds a lot of unnecessary stress to my life. But hey, that's just me. So again when the notice came in saying I was excepted to TTU Law I was thrilled. Like, I can't stop from crying and can't contain my joy type of thrilled. And now i look back on the whole law school/LSAT journey and want smack myself because DUH!!!!  God always provides and I knew this was his plan and mine and I still doubted it? That was pretty silly. I bet me and God will chuckle about that one day.  

And the rest of the story? 

Well, the best is yet to come.  But as you can see, there was a plan long long long ago for me and due to my mothers selfless decision, my amazing parents, and God guiding the entire process, here I am doing exactly what my mom hoped I would do... I'm dreaming big and conquering those dreams.... I am fulfilling my purpose in life and couldn't be happier! 

Oh and tomorrow.... I am getting married! So just when I finished a blog, I will soon have more to blog about. 

Feel free to leave comments or ask questions, I will be happy to hear feedback and answer questions. 

XOXO 

Brenda 

Precious Memories

Today was a day of reminiscing on my childhood.  The best part was that I was able to tell Braylon and show him parts of my childhood. 

We were at the new house, which is close to my childhood home and my nana's old house... I hesitate to say "old" because to me that house will always be my nana's house no matter who lives in it.  Braylon wanted to go on a walk and I let him choose the directions we went and he ended up at my old street. I got chills. This was my old stomping ground, my neighborhood, memories flooded my mind. As we walked down the block I told Braylon who lived in these houses when I was a kid, and some special memories about each of my former neighbors. Before I knew it we were at my old house. I told him that mommy used to live there with nana and da. He was confused but went along anyway. I showed him the big sycamore tree in the front yard. Funny how it seemed so incredibly tall when I was a kid but now it didn't seem too big afterall. I told him how I use to climb it and jump off of that front porch over the flowers onto the soft grass.

  Before I knew it we were three houses down from my childhood home, my nanas house. I told him that it was my nanas house, his great nana, and showed him a picture of her.  His response was " her a itty bitty nana huh". He is right, she was.  Her 5'0  108 pound body that had shriveled due to her osteoporosis was very small in stature. Although she was little, she sure was fierce and a fighter. I told him my nana was sick and hurt a lot but she never showed it. I told him multiple stories about her. He laughed at most of them and said "that's a silly nana". Then he took off in a sprint  to a brick planter. I use to do gymnastics off this planter and cheerleading on it. He got up there and started walking on the ledge, balancing himself. I teared up It was such an awesome feeling to see him doing what I once did. He jumped off and took of down the sidewalk. I let some tears flow. That sidewalk he was running on was the sidewalk I learned to ride my bike on, the sidewalk my stroller went on,  the sidewalk I tried to cook an egg on. Oh those precious memories. 

We walked back up the block and he said "that's my tiny nana house" as we passed my nana's house . He also exclaimed that's mama and da and nana old house as we passed by my childhood home. We walked back up to our drive way of our new home and I realized this home we purchased in February is not only the beginning if our new chapter, but will be where Braylon makes his precious memories, where he will take my grandchildren one day, and that makes my heart happy. I told him as we walked in the driveway, Braylon this is your home that you get to build memories in, and he looked at me with his handsome little smiley face, and hugged my leg. 

I was so blessed to share my memories with my son and can't wait to make new ones with his daddy and him soon!